Your Pain Points

In a session this morning my client told me that the reason he has become more effective in his leadership is because he had a 'humbling' experience last year.  This manager almost didn't make it in his organization as his behavior over time had become toxic.  He first came to me after this humbling experience and he and I have done some really great, challenging and fun work together.  The humbling experience was getting 360 feedback in the organization which was largely critical, as well as being put on the chopping block if he didn't turn around.  I like his story so much because it illustrates that 1. we can turn around, and 2. we need to know what our blind spots or pain points are in order to grow.  

Just as in the body pain points need to be identified and then released through manipulation, heat, rolling on rollers, etc., our psychological/emotional world need the same.  With coaching this manager was able to roll out the kinks in his emotional reactions and intellectual disturbances by learning skills and looking at what he wanted to create.  Instead of solely focusing on what isn't working, we started to use appreciation, relationship building, skill building and team building to create a better leadership and team experience.  I have seen many pain points that leaders either know or get to know when I am on their watch.  

I have documented many such pain points/blind spots that I believe as leaders (or anyone) gets more intimate with, they can become less and sometimes obliterated.  Here is a non-exhaustive list.  See if any fit for you, deep inside.  See if you can identify one or two or (heavens-no) all of them and say them out loud: 

• Getting through to a defensive manager/managee
• Fear of conflict
• Figuring out capacity
• How to say no
• Letting go of control and let others help
• Too much in the weeds
• Holding others accountable; pleasing others
• Work/life balance
• Vague projects/procrastination
• Speaking up/self-advocacy
• Unaware of impact on others
• Trusting your gut
• Lack of systems
• Delivery too brash
• Lonely at the top
• Dealing with change
• Inspiring a vision
• Managing friends
• Managing other’s employees
• Lack of org chart clarity
• Turnover
• No leadership training
• Assessing when to fire someone
• Co-managing an employee
• Getting people committed
• Getting annual reviews done

Can you see yourself in any of these?  Are there others?  I would love to hear about your pain points.  As you self-identify (or have others identify them for you!) you can look at how you want to address it/them.  I can think of nothing better to do than to become a better manager and thus person. 

Taking Calculated Risks

Recently I was able to do something that I have never done before:  speak to 1200 people over 2 days up on the big stage.  I was asked to speak to the incoming new students about managing anxiety at Keene State College.  The experience and collaboration with the student affairs folks was truly amazing, totally went off without a hitch and was well received.  

Some of my clients are dealing with pushing the edge, riding the wave, creating something new, taking risks.  For me it was a calculated risk because even though I have never done a Ted style talk on the big stage, I have done hundreds of hours with groups of smaller sizes.  So when the college asked me to do this it felt right, and my work heretofore was leading me into this arena of public/motivational speaking.  It just felt right.

I had a session last evening with someone who is looking at morphing her role in her company. She is feeling hemmed in by her current role and wants to approach her boss about a new position that she is creating (in her mind) based on a real need in the organization.  This could be a risk to put out there to her boss because the answer might be no.  Also, if others find out they might think she isn't committed to her current department and role.  And her major fear is that her boss might say no and use this to push her out the door.  So in coaching her, we got into the vision of the new role, which excited her.  Then we talked about all of these potential landmines and explored how to mitigate them should they arise.  And we talked about the choice of staying unhappy in a current role or seeking to go towards the positive energy she is feeling.

After my talks were through I had several students come up to me and ask me questions, some have me high fives and some were sobbing or crying.  People are dealing with anxiety and depression all over the place and I struck a cord.  I shared some of my own past pain up there on the stage and it connected them to me.  After all I am a human being too not immune to the slings and arrows of time.  

After taking this calculated risk I want more.  I had a filmmaker film the whole thing and he is going to make a full length movie out of it and give me whatever video clips for marketing I want.  I will pander this to other colleges and businesses to get more speaking gigs.  I love being on the stage, connecting with a large audience, and being as real as possible.  I never would have known this if I would have played it safe.

Take a calculated pause like this manager does...

I am supporting a manager in a company currently who was on the rocks with his team.  He was even on the track to be fired until I was called in to facilitate a transformation in his leadership.  Now before I make it all about me, I tell you it takes two to make a transformation happen:  my support and his willingness.  Both were clearly there 100% out of the gate.  The shock of the initial feedback about his performance and attitude quickly gave way to an appetite for growth.  Over a couple months things began to turn around.  

When meeting with him last week he said something truly profound, that he takes a 'calculated pause' now.  I was blown away.  This pause is so subtle yet so powerful.  Before I came into the picture he would react to his frustrations and anxieties by being negative.  He was part of the problem, which he didn't see.  As we went through some of the feedback he received from a 360 degree report, as well as the feedback I was able to ascertain working with his team without him, he began to take a critical look at how his strong negative emotions were wreaking havoc in his team.  It goes without saying that this manager has done some pretty intense and amazing work in a short time to effect an almost complete turnaround.  Mastery takes time and I told him last week that I believe he is at the point where he won't regress back to old behaviors because he is onto himself and he values being a supportive and engaged leader.

But back to the calculated pause.  If you don't know you are in emotional hot water, then actions will flow to try to deal with those, most often being reactive, blaming in nature.  This doesn't solve the original problem you were frustrated about and causes another problem: negativity in those around you.  To be an effective leader you need to be able to understand your feeling tones and when they change and then to take pause, to calm down enough to think about the action you want to purvey in your relationships.  Not all negative behaviors are aggressive though, some are passive aggressive like sarcasm and some are passive like avoiding others.  In the case of working with his anxiety he said he tends to over-explain things to others so they 'get it'.  But what tends to happen is the verbosity tunes other people out, is a trigger for them.  So, he gets the very thing he doesn't want:  disengagement.  

If you are a manager you can try this on for yourself, as well as help others take pause under duress.  This is an important management function that goes under the radar oftentimes.  By knowing your trigger points and helping others understand theirs, awareness flows and people can take a calculated pause in order to be as mindful and constructive with their actions.

Bringing the Love to Business

It is a well-kept secret for some reason that love and business can be synonymous.  Before you judge me as woo-woo or too touchy feely you need to know the facts:  30% of workers in the US are engaged in their jobs for many reasons.  One of those reasons is that they don't feel appreciated by their immediate supervisor.  I have written about appreciation before and to me love is a form of appreciation.  By appreciating people more often, this increases engagement metrics like absenteeism, morale, and productivity to name a few.  

So I was stunned the other day that a middle manager in a local manufacturer told me that he had an epiphany recently:  that he wants to bring more love to his staff.  This grown man actually used these words and I was lock, stock and barrel with him, on the edge of my seat.  Since I don't often hear things like this, but believe it myself, I was ready to unpack what he meant by it.  He realized that he is in the position to help steward his supervisees to feel more connected to each other, to their jobs, and to themselves. He realized that he can take strategic actions to boost the support and care that he exhibits on a daily or weekly basis.  

I applaud this manager for his vulnerability, for his commitment to well-being of the whole, and his risk taking.  He told me too that he appreciates immensely his immediate boss, the CEO.  I told him to go to the CEO and 'give him the love'.  Supervisors need attention too, and it can be lonely at the top.  This manager indeed did go into the CEO's office right after our meeting and gave the love.  It had a ripple effect.  The CEO then emailed me and told me that he loves me and the manager, which then I in turn gave it back!  It was a complete love-fest.  

Don't underestimate this power.  We all have it.  We all need it.  We all can give it.  Release the blockages that you have and let it flow freely.  When a whole department or company can do this, the culture shifts and it feels more affiliative, more harmonious.  And the proof is in the data.  Companies that love up on their employees not only perform better but are the best places to work.  I want to thank this manager for amping up the love and being brave enough to let it shine in one of the most unlikely places.  My mind is effectively blown.

The Performance/Attitude Matrix

In my work I have discovered that there are two general areas for celebration and improvement with each employee.  I call these two key areas performance and attitude and I have created a matrix of four possibilities that may be helpful to managers and leaders when thinking through the current reality of their individual employees.  Here is the matrix:

1. Great performance and great attitude, 2. great performance and bad attitude, 3. bad performance and great attitude and 4. bad performance and bad attitude.

I think we can all agree that we have seen employees in all of these categories of the matrix.  Of course there are grey areas, but for this purpose let's keep it black and white.  Performance refers to meeting the criteria and objectives of their technical role, that is what they do for the organization.  Attitude refers to intangible things like respect for coworkers, stepping up and taking initiative, being a team player, feeling connected and engaged, being appreciative, etc.  So in short another way to state performance and attitude is tangible and intangible outcomes. 

We all love the first group.  They are engaged and get the work done.  They look for ways to help others, take on more than asked, and seek to resolve challenges by collaborating.  As managers we want to recognize in various ways these A players.

The second group is a tough bunch.  They do good quality work but they aren't engaged and worse even toxic.   As managers we need to coach these folks about the expectations of respectful behavior and seek to understand why they are curmudgeon.  When coaching fails sometimes ultimatums will work.  Managers sometimes fear that if they fire a great performer that the business unit/team will fall down.  I have never seen this happen and is an unfounded assumption/fear. 

The third group are well intentioned folks that may lack technical skill, experience, cognitive aptitudes, etc.  Again here coaching is required as well as an assessment how they learn best.  Some people need visuals to learn best.  Some people need to be taken by the hand.  Some people need autonomy, still others consistent check-ins.  Of course clear objectives need to be in place to measure the needed performance improvements.

Lastly, the fourth group.  Get rid of these people, they are time suckers and the return on their incremental development will be dismal.  Don't keep a dying horse.  I have learned that even though I may not like it, not everyone is a good fit for the culture.  By being always optimistic and wanting a win/win this can drag a situation on for too long.  By having to develop performance and attitude, this may require more resources, time and energy than it's worth.

Use this matrix to contemplate the state of your workforce and to come up with strategies to get people to the next level.  Most people don't wake up looking to do a bad job, or cast a negative attitude.  Get in there and coach people to understand what their hindrances to performance and/or attitude are.  What you find just may help you change up a situation for the better.

The Beauty of the Org Chart

The organizational chart is a wonderful visioning and management tool.  Unfortunately too few people use it.  The org chart is a visual chart/graph/spreadsheet of who reports to who in the business or organization.  If people don't know who reports to who it causes confusion and inefficiencies.  People do workarounds, or aren't held accountable.  This is problematic and I think can be cleared up with a first step of getting this chart worked out.  It is a work in progress but it is a useful snapshot of reality, and like I said can be revised over time and used as a visioning tool.

I was sitting with a manufacturing CEO yesterday and his business has been growing, and there has been some turnover and new hires recently.  He has been thinking about the org chart, so we put it up on the white board.  It was fascinating to talk through the players in the business and to see in reality who reports to who.  Of course, as you may know my work I like to have horizontal leadership instead of vertical, but vertical is useful in terms of management functions.  At any rate, by putting this up on the white board it showed two key areas needing attention.  Right now with the turnover he had he is carrying the load of roles he 'shouldn't' be doing.  So by seeing it visually it helped him to get clear about what is needed in the future as well.

I then asked him to take it one step further:  make the visual and post it somewhere where everyone in the company can see it.  You better bet that if he was unclear to some degree, others in the business are too.  There may be assumptions and judgments floating around in the environment about the turnover and shift of players.  If it isn't clear then we leave ourselves open to these potential potholes.  Now making it explicit still may produce judgments and assumptions about what should be, but reality at least is seen and can alleviate some fears or negativity.  I have seen negativity and ambiguity even in a business with four employees.  It is amazing to me that as leaders we think people are clear when in reality they aren't.  

So, take a look at the current reality of your org chart.  It may be crystal clear and in that case good for you!  If it isn't though, it may expose strategic areas to work on.  One company realized that in theory the manager was supposed to be managing 10 guys, but the CEO was doing his job for him and enabling the manager's lack of management.  When you know reality, you can then use that to envision how it should be and use it as a living, breathing document.