Chapter One: Listening Skills. These include intention (curiosity/body language), paraphrasing, and asking the right questions. Listening is not the same as hearing. When we clarify why we are “listening,” we see that it is a powerful strategy. Paraphrasing is the ability to restate the words and feelings of others in your own words. Lastly, becoming a master questioner is essential in being curious and coaching another person.

Chapter Two: Trigger Management. This means to be able to manage one’s own emotions in various settings. To be able to manage frustration, for example, one needs some self-awareness of what triggers it and what actions one might take to mitigate it. I have created a STARR model, which can be helpful in learning more constructive ways to navigate through tough emotional experiences and patterns. Conflict is a natural part of any relationship and is an opportunity for growth, collaboration and innovation.

Chapter Three: Feedback. This is an essential tool for every toolbox. Unfortunately few master how it is done. The feedback handout gives you an easy-to-use guideline for constructing what to say. The hard part is not the “how”; it’s actually doing it. There are many reasons we don’t give feedback freely: not wanting to hurt others’ feelings, not wanting to make someone else mad, etc. Feedback is the essential skill for holding others accountable as well as continual personal growth.

Chapter Four: Meeting Facilitation Skills. These are crucial to powerful relationships. Meetings abound in nonprofit and business settings, yet like feedback these are skills that are rarely learned or honed. By being able to design and lead more effective and efficient meetings, your relationships will be taken to another level and goodwill will ensue. Meeting facilitation has many facets, such as having a space for conflict to avail itself. Just this skill alone can take a team to new heights. Meetings led well are an incredible leverage point for change in an organization. Building relationship and appreciation are also staples of this tool.

Chapter Five: Coaching Conflict. Conflict is a normal part of relationships. Unfortunately most people in organizations avoid it at all costs. This is especially troublesome in management positions, when there is accountability to be had. When people are in conflict we tend to either avoid it or get upset. By entertaining and mastering conflict, it becomes an opportunity for learning and bringing the relationship and organization to new heights.